we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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