Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
this will be a night to untag.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize