I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
