Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
