overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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