yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
