i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
