11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
