I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
