I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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