Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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