my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
