Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
