Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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