so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
