kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
