if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Randomize
