Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
