I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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