If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
