he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
