you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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