You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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