Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We have so much sex to catch up on
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
