wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
