she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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