do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
