How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
