Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
