Can Purell be used as lube?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
