oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
