can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
