Dual....:-)
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
