Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
