Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
