i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
