Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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