Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
