she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I am naked and annoyed.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
