did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
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