I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
