she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
