she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
