I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm bleeding and have questions
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
