I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Sex in the backyard? Check.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
