Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
