Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
