Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
