whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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