I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
