Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
im six kinds of drunk right now
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
