so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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